CONSISTENCY WILL BE THE KEY

Report by acclaimed author Matthew Kleinman:

In the aftermath of Storm Jorge, and on a beautifully sunny morning at Rowley Lane Blench FC took on Old Minchendenians. The newly arranged kick off time of 10.30am was conveniently reserved for only a few to know in order to ensure that Bradley Lee arrived unfashionably early – the first tactical masterstroke of the day by the management! Brad Laz arrived at the club that his goals built in optimistic mood. He was quick to inform the girls on the gate that he was management and would not be incurring the £2 levy charged at mere playing staff (a privilege that Adam Harvey could only dream of).

In the changing room, the mood was light and the squad looked strong. Boys were keen to play after storms Ciara and Dennis had put pay to any chance of that in recent weeks. The question of how storm Jorge can follow storms Ciara and Dennis when they are supposed to be named in alphabetical order remains a puzzling one but we can put that to one side for now.

This was to be our first league game since October and the mood was so positive that even Dave Snelman was afforded the responsibility of the key to the dressing room – the second masterstroke by management???! If you haven’t done so already, I’d check to see that you haven’t bet £50 each way on the 2.30 at Cheltenham today!

With a starting line up that proudly sported a back four with an average height of 5’6” tall and equipped with new water bottles and freshly pumped balls, we took to a pitch that had weathered the unsavoury conditions of previous weeks extremely well. The message from the management was clear – three voices off the pitch (more than you could hear on it!), limit the touches, try not to concede set-pieces and our fitness would win through come the latter stages of the game.

‘Rusty’ would probably be the best way to describe the opening 15 minutes of the first half. A few poor touches, weak passes and bad decisions meant that we gifted the ball far too often to an opposition that offered little in the way of quality. Meanwhile, on the odd occasion that they broke into our half and threatened to mount an attack, this was thwarted by the central defensive partnership of Hakimi and Firmin. Also, Bradley Lee, when called into action made an excellent save to keep us from conceding a goal against the run of play.

With the wind slightly in our favour we continued to press forward and mount attacks. Much of the good play came from playing into the central midfield pairing of Daggers and Abrams who subsequently found our more advanced attackers in the form of Silver, Gold and Lazarus. At times some good passing and movement lead to opportunities for forward players but these were often wasted, mainly due to lack of regular recent game time. However, the positive signs were there to see – we were getting into decent positions and creating opportunities. We could possibly have exploited the pace of Gold on the right wing a bit better and the longer the half continued without us capitalising on our dominant possession, the greater the chance that we might end up ruing those missed chances. That was until Plaskow was introduced to the game. He combined with McCarthy and Gold down the right flank and with a strike from just outside the right corner of the 18 yard box he struck a shot that looped over the Old Minchendenians keeper and found the back of the net for a debut goal. Calm restored just before half-time.

The ‘3 wise men’ (substitute Balthazar, Gaspart and Melchior for Lenchner, Lazarus and Silver) all had their say at half-time and the general consensus was that we needed to take better care of the ball and play with a higher tempo. The introduction of Wagman and Geey provided fresh legs and energy to the fold.

At our level the majority of goals seem to be scored through enforced defensive errors and that was the case for the second Lions goal. The keeper attempted to clear his lines from a poor back pass which Gold had chased down and when the ball was hit straight at him, Gold was able to slot home into an empty net.

By now the Lions were dominant in their play and with McCarthy and Kleinman supporting the two wide men, Lions looked threatening every time they went forward. Some neat interchanges between the midfield and Lazarus put Wagman in for a few chances but with his confidence in front of goal about as low as aunty Bettie’s knockers, he failed to hit the back of the net.

The third Lions goal came on a counter attack, which saw Lazarus collect the ball high up on the right wing before picking out Lenchner in the 6 yard box with a pin-point cross. Surely even ‘spoon head’ couldn’t miss from there? And he didn’t! 3-0 Lions!

The game was well and truly wrapped up with the fourth Lions goal after Wagman collected the ball just in advance of the halfway line on the left hand side and slipped a lovely through ball in for Gold who lifted the ball over the on-rushing lump of a keeper.

As predicted, the opposition began to tire but still threatened at times due to some sloppy passing (courtesy of Kleinman at left back), and giving away some unnecessary free-kicks (courtesy of Kleinman at left-back). However, Bradley Lee marshalled his back four well and was very good in his distribution throughout. That was, until the final few minutes when, at a corner, the Lions defence could have been accused of thinking Lee had turned into Lord Lucan as he was nowhere to be seen when the Minchendenians midfield player got his head to a ball that seemed destined to be looping over the bar but instead dropped in underneath it.

And so, 4-1 the final score in what was a far from impressive performance from the Lions. However, another win in the league and some cracking chips in the club house after the game made it all worthwhile.

As entitled, ‘consistency will be the key’ and if we can continue to turn out in the great numbers that we show each and every week to train and play, support each other, enjoy each other’s company (even tolerating Daggers when he gives off a terrible scent in the dressing room before the game) and work hard for each other then we will be right up there come the end of the season.

One final parting note… I was personally delighted to see that a few of the boys had heeded my comments from several weeks ago when I’d not so subtly suggested that more work needed to be done in the gym and less in the kitchen. It was especially pleasing to see that our skipper has been leading by example where he appears to have ditched the pizzas and French fries in favour of a strict diet of donuts and fizzy bubblech.